Maintaining Mental Health While Job Hunting: Tips

Originally published on Trauma Conscious

If you’re currently in a position in which you have to look for work in the current job market, I am truly and sincerely sorry — and I can say that because I’m in the same boat. After five years of writing daily news for the same client, the website was unceremoniously axed and I am left with no reliable source of income, forced to brave the daunting landscape of LinkedIn and Indeed while reports of layoffs sound off each week to the harmony of “the market is bad and won’t get better any time soon.”

Keeping one’s spirits up under these conditions is a job unto itself. Job seekers are becoming less shy about expressing what unemployment does to their mental health, and it’s great that people are talking about it more, but at some point, we need more than miserable company to keep the depression from getting in the way of writing all those cover letters that keep going unread.

So what can be done about it? Don’t worry, I’ve got better things to suggest than taking walks and eating kale while meditating or whatever. This isn’t my first time fighting off the seductive call of despair while looking for work, and I’ve picked up some tricks you won’t find in a ChatGPT-generated listicle, along with some general advice that you might have heard already, but needs to be repeated because it’s essential.

1. Let your support network know what you need, and that it’s not empty reassurance.

I don’t know anyone who has ever felt better due to someone saying “don’t worry, you’re a good [insert job title here], someone will hire you” after losing their source of income. We’ve all said something like that to a loved one, or similar reassurance in a different situation, because we want them to feel better and may even believe it’s true. But let’s be honest — we also say it because it’s easy.

The problem with this line is that it’s not necessarily true, or at least might not be in enough time to save someone from getting evicted or losing their car, or some other financial disaster. It can often come across as a dismissal — something you say because you just want the struggling person to stop complaining or feel better so we can stop feeling sorry for them. Sometimes we just want to fix things with some easy magic words, but that never works.

Don’t be afraid to let your friends and family know what you really need during this difficult time, as well as what you don’t need. If empty platitudes make you feel worse, tell them to save it. Ask them to tell you that they’ll still love you even if they fail, that you can count on their support even at your worst, and that they’ll let you know if you’re asking too much so that they won’t resent you.

2. Get the rest you need… if you can.

This is one of those you might have heard but that isn’t stressed nearly enough. Looking for work is work. Everyone who’s ever been unemployed knows that it’s no vacation. You might work harder to find a job then you would while employed, and all while managing financial anxiety, bouts of depression, and general stress. The potential for burnout is high, and in today’s market, the job-seeking slog may last for a long time. This is very likely going to be a marathon rather than a sprint. Pace yourself. You will have zero chance to get hired if you are too burnt out and in despair to try.

If you feel like that’s not an option for you because you’re in a dire financial situation, I wish I had some better advice for you. Actually, if I’m going to be making wishes, then I wish our society provided a better safety net so that you didn’t have to literally fear for your life because someone else took your work away from you. Do what you can. At the very least, take breaks. Humans can only work for so long before their focus and productivity plummets. You’ll get more done and increase your chances of landing an interview by giving yourself a break every two to three hours. You can also take a little time to do something you really enjoy to lift your spirits each day.

3. Don’t think about the future.

This might seem counter-intuitive. Or impossible. You’re looking for the job that will shape your future, how could you not think about it? You’re facing serious long-term consequences if you don’t find work in time, how are you supposed to not think about it?

This advice comes straight from my own therapist. She calls that anxious ruminating on all the ways your future life is screwed because you’re not working (or any other problem you’re having) “future tripping” and she has assured me that it is not helpful, and in fact makes looking for work harder. Her trick is to imagine a big ol’ stop sign every time you catch yourself doing it. That felt annoying and embarrassing to me, but I also have trouble defying someone I see as an authority figure, so I used that particular issue to my advantage and just stopped thinking about the future in order to avoid the stop sign altogether.

For you, the stop sign might work. Or maybe it’s enough to know that ruminating on things to come is counter-productive. Maybe every time you catch yourself doing it, you distract yourself instead, whether with something productive or something fun, but whatever will take up that brain space. Most importantly, know that it is not only okay to stop thinking about the future but that it will make it easier to find a job. Still definitely consider whether a job is right for you long term, if you have that luxury, but doom-based ruminating (doominating?) is only draining away your energy and will.

4. Deep breaths, baby.

Use your deep breathing and grounding techniques as often as you need them. Yes, I know it’s annoying to always be told to do this and I know it’s only temporary relief, but you know it still works to calm you down every time. If you don’t know about this yet, stop everything and learn how to hack your own nervous system.

5. Have lots of money already.

Haha whoops.

6. Switch tasks.

Going through long lists of jobs that seem out of reach can be demoralizing, and writing cover letters and adjusting resumes takes a lot of mental energy. If you feel like you can’t stop to take a break, at least switch to something else when you feel yourself hitting a wall. For example, I switched to writing something a little more fun and satisfying that would not only help other people, but serve as another sample I could send to employers and help fill out my Substack page.

Doing something physical can also help you regain your mental energy and focus. There’s probably a chore that needs doing somewhere — engage your hands and give your brain a break by doing the dishes or a load of laundry. Focusing on different physical sensations can also help ground you.

7. Cry, scream, and hit.

I will never stop recommending the healthy release of emotions. If you feel the doom and despair built up in your guts, take a break to have a good cry. If the silence from all those companies you applied to has you frustrated, scream into a pillow, or just beat the crap out of it. It will make you feel better, and it’s easier and quicker than going for a run.

Pent-up emotions will only get in your way. Feelings are meant to be felt and released. Crying is a natural mechanism literally meant to flush out the hormones that cause the sensation of emotion. Anyone who would shame you for letting it out can try finding a job in the year 2024.

8. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

Resist the temptation to look through your old LinkedIn connections to see what everyone else has accomplished. I really wish I hadn’t done that.

It’s true that comparing yourself to Instagram models will lower your self-esteem, and it’s just as true comparing yourself to every account that has been built to project the illusion of an ideal career. Remember all that work you did to spin your own profile to make yourself seem as employable as possible? Everyone else did that, too.

A career isn’t a race. It’s your path toward better jobs that make you happier, whatever that means for you.

9. Remember that you’re not alone.

This process sucks. It’s scary to not have the same income you did before and terrifying to not know when you will again. It’s demoralizing to put a lot of work into applications and hear nothing back. It’s depressing to hear about how hard it is to get a job and to be unemployed in a society that puts so much moral value on work.

If you need reassurance that what you’re feeling is normal or to talk to someone going through the same thing, there are plenty of us out there. I’m here, and we can support each other. No one should go through this alone.

Good luck out there.